Brobbits Glossary
PAB (People Against Blackshoe)
Launched as one of the first search engines in 1998 by Frechen Sperboit of LarsNet. It became Rouble.com in 2002, and has been enormously popular ever since.
The creators of Agent Red (the “commie killing chemical”), and developers of farming pesticides, which has since driven the market of genetically modified food. Their thousands of patents on numerous variations on everyday foods has put them at odds with Lars Blackshoe whom, it’s said, took out so many patents on the human genome to keep companies like Asesino from acquiring them. “Lars can criticize Asesino for genetically modified livestock and food products, writes Freddy Smuttison, “but Lars gave us biologically modified humans.
When Effluvia Jack, as he’s now known, approached Lars Blackshoe with a secret foamy concoction, it’s said that Lars finally saw a purpose to the derelict brewery he’d been tricked into purchasing in 1981. Old Jack’s Stout was a local sensation, but with Lars Blackshoe’s move to the United States shortly thereafter, he brought Jack’s Stout with him and created a new beer empire. It’s the only beer certified as pure Gripples-formed effluvia.
Followers of Blopman who endeavor to mimic his Rastafarian appearance, often neglecting to heed us advice about never following fads.
A secret cabal of powerful, well-heeled interests that, it’s alleged, rule the world through various global organizations. It’s also alleged that Lars Blackshoe III was once a member but that he was shut out for admitting the existence of The Brethren.
Called the most anticipated spectacle of the modern age, the Circus of Wonders, set to open in Las Vegas this summer, features the curious talents of the creatures some call the Brobbits and others call freaks. While the origin of the creatures remains the subject of speculation, people are thrilled to see them all under one roof, ticket sales booked at least six months in advance.
The business war played out amongst the clones of Bill Yaysman, an untold number which could well be increasing to meet the hiring demands of corporations which prize the brand of sycophancy and ever-pleasing demeanor that made Yesman’s employer Lars Blackshoe the envy of the business world.
A festival organized by Floobaphiles to celebrate everything Floob, participants bringing canned corn, corn husks and even candy corn in the hopes that the sheer surplus of corn will attract Floobs. The purpose of the festival is to provide for an exchange of corn for effluvia. To date, no Floob has ever attended a Corn Aid.
Lars Blackshoe’s foray into the pharmaceutical industry forever changed the drug business, first with the erectile dysfunction drug Bang and later with Buzz for depression and Bliss for insomnia. Due to allegations that effluvia has contributed to the record-breaking popularity of Elixir products, legal injunctions have prevented Elixir from marketing where effluvia is outlawed.
Subsidiary of Asesino and famous for the tag lines “Food for tomorrow” and “Food outside the box,” Eternal Foods is most famous for its genetically modified corn (said to be Floob proof due to Floob aversion to it) and for genetically engineered growth hormones in cows to generate more milk (to the delight of Milk party members everywhere).
Dickie Dump’s popular television show, currently in its eighth season for the Celebrity Follower which reunited Lala Boomba and Dope Daddy.
Those eager to befriend the Floobs; also known as freak lovers by members of the Milk Party and the Whiteshoes. Floobaphiles organize through the use of grassroots Floobacites.
street name for unprescribed Effluvia; popular term for Effluvia in states like Texas where it’s illegal due to legislation pushed by Hegemon Pharmaceutical.
Organization pioneered by Lucy “Blackshoe” to provide refuge to all creatures sidelined as biological anomalies (aka freaks). Her facilities in London, England have been frequented by many of the performers of the Circus of Wonders, much to the frustration of local residents disturbed by the strange noises in the night.
The product of ten years of work, overseen by Dr. Ezekial Dingboit, the Genome Project was the coordinated attempt by a multitude of scientists to map the human genome. “To locate the gene for fish phobia, most likely,” stated Freddy Smuttison regarding Blackshoe’s patents on many of the human genes identified.
Rory Blow’s populist anti-freak campaign. Rory Blow’s oft used reply when asked about letting the Circus of Wonders performers become naturalized citizens of the US. By freaks, the Heck No movement also targets Floobs, clarifying that “we share no corn. Not with Floobs. Not ever.”
The corollary of Heck No which calls for the privatization of all things including airspace, oceans, parks, forest and roads. “How can we enjoy the fruits of our God-given liberties said Rory Blow on his radio show, “when we have to share everything like Socialists?” While there’s concern about a million tolls if roads get privatized, it’s reasoned that at least unlimited toll roads will cut down on traffic.
The largest pharmaceutical company in the world, although gross sales are half that of rival Elixir, largely due to claims that Hegemon products are insufficiently tested and deadly. It is Hegemon Pharma, through noted spokesman Dr. Floyd Cockinbush, which, according to Yipileaks, has funded politicians responsible for declaring effluvia consumption illegal.
The popular interview show hosted by Fay Nilch which “asks the tough questions.” Producers for the show claim that the eponymous hot seat “warms to mendacity” although victims of the hot seat, including Lars Blackshoe III, have called it a brazen attempt at embarrassing those who voice disagreement with Nilch.
The popular slogan used by many companies eager to cut to the chase. “No more wooing the consumer,” says Yesman, the familiar spokesperson for many a company. “We want them and we want them to want us.” It’s said, however, that Yesman, the familiar face in the advertisements, is more than just one man. He is legion.
The first reality show to celebrate complete absence of natural ability and which crowned Lala Boomba as the ‘Queen of Hype,” armed with the scepter of high expectation and the orb of low achievement. First hosted by Dope Daddy, the show launched a very short-lived comeback.
A pioneer in the tech industry, Lars Blackshoe’s LarsNet has changed the face of computing, first by developing the browser Larscape in 1995, by launching the revolutionary search engine AskRouble in 1998 and most recently by once again reinventing the Internet with Smookbook. LarsNet, thanks to Sperboit, was a front runner in the push for Web 2.0 and will likely continue to innovate how people interface with technology.
Frechen Sperboit’s famed browser which has since become the stuff of internet lore. While no longer used, the famed browser catapulted Sperboit to fame as the Austrian wiz kid who knew what the public wanted before the public knew.
Who can forget the famous cry from the War of Independence, "give me milk or give me death." Granted, it was spoken when our Founder had just gorged himself on burnt biscuits laden with molasses and sugar, but the cry for milk may go back to the beginning of human history and perhaps farther back than that. For the Milk party, milk is a welcome relief from all the talk of change and effluvia. And what sparked the milk party? President O’Fama’s claim that he never drinks milk.
The most viable competitor of LarsNet and the creator of as the Yodle search engine, as well as Orinico.com, where everyone buys the books they never finish.
PAB (aka People Against Blackshoe) was founded by Pam Spear in 1987 shortly after Lars Blackshoe III was formally charged with insider trading. Blackshoe’s acquittal only emboldened PAB to take the lead in all things anti-Blackshoe, determined to expose the prominent entrepreneur and billionaire as a fraud and a liar who never returns calls.
The gossip magazine even more famous than its founder, Freddy Smuttison, who wrote the first issue himself back in 1985. Most famous for the first known photo of “Stimpy the Floob” in 1989, it’s still the first place to look for anything Floob.
It's said that the right to bear dynamite was incorporated into the Constitution because a few of the Framers were avid tunnel explorers who had a tendency to get caved in and found "dynamite to be a most efficacious means of effecting a speedy withdrawl, thereby diminishing the usual hazards of subterranean peradventure." Milk party members have been known to flaunt their explosives strapped to their chests, arms and legs, although no one has established a clear connection between milk and explosives. Searches on Rouble.com for either explosives or milk will invariably bring up hits for both words.'
The internet sensation that’s “not just for Blopheads anymore,” although it’s still the place “to unleash the madman within. Smookbook has never been about presentation, said an early press release, but about “full release without shame or embarrassment.” Initially designed so that Smooksterpalooza attendees could better keep in touch, it’s since become the exclusive means of interpersonal contact for many. Lars Blackshoe denies claims that Smookbook is selling personal information to corporations, although robocalls concerning Smookbook “Likes” have become commonplace.
The annual musical festival inspired by Smookster, the ultimate meet and greet, it was called, for Blopheads and Floobaphiles, and as popular in the nineties as Corn Aid. It’s said that Frechen Sperboit invented Smookbook after attending one such event and wishing he could find the beautiful girl he’s seen rimming Fluv near the stage and who only told him her name but never gave him her number.
Smooksterpalooza’s worthy successor, known for louder music, hotter celebrities and, above all, enough corn to attract an entire planet of Floobs.
The company, funded by Lars Blackshoe, which claims to have found the secret of limitless energy but which, as yet, has been unable to market its products to the public due to patent disputes and an injunction obtained by Trog Petroleum. It’s said that JJ Rigrodowski, the man whose perpetual motion vehicle inspired the company, also provided the name.
An oil conglomerate responsible for a cataclysmic ecological disaster in 2010 but which has since reformed its image with the slogan: “Mistakes happen. But it’s how you try to forget those mistakes that shows what we’re made of.”
It’s said that Yippileaks, like the truth, chooses no favorites and makes more enemies than friends. While the source of Yippileaks remains a mystery, there’s no denying the media love affair with the surprising and often embarrassing revelations about the rich and powerful. Asked his opinion of the source, Rory Blow stated that it was probably a Socialist and a freak lover hell bent on destroying who should never have to apologize for their success.
The international offensive against warbloid infestation, spearheaded by Dr. Cockinbush. Promises to be more effective than the War on Drugs. “The war on drugs failed because people like drugs,” explained Dr. Cockinbush. “But name one person who likes warbloids?”
The movement which promises to rid the world of black shoes and to vilify those who wear them. Founder Sebastian Smarmson concedes the task is a daunting one, adding that “Blackshoe, I mean black shoes, have overstayed their welcome. Blackshoe, I mean black shoes, are like death. We must choose life.” Whiteshoe converts are known to gather the first Tuesday of every month to stage black shoe burnings.